


Draco Malfoy and the Delicious Descent into Denial

by holymalfoys



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Gay crisis, In denial!Draco, M/M, Newt Scamander cutout, Quidditch Weekly, draco coming out, lawyer!draco, quidditch player!Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 17:03:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19705672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holymalfoys/pseuds/holymalfoys
Summary: Draco Malfoy was not gay.Really, he wasn’t.





	Draco Malfoy and the Delicious Descent into Denial

Draco Malfoy was not gay.

Really, he wasn’t.

He just… appreciated a handsome man. And if that handsome man had a big bum, then Draco appreciated that, too. You know, the same way he acknowledged that a woman had big breasts. Even if he did glance away almost immediately. But still. He looked in the first place, so it counts as enraging lust, right?

If he was gay, he probably wouldn’t even notice that girls existed. He’d be so desperate for a male that he’d just block out the other sex entirely. So. 

And, no, Pansy; sixth year didn’t count. That was different. Draco definitely was not spying on Harry Potter because he was  _ gay _ . He was suspicious. And curious. And absolutely did not stay up for hours just thinking about the speccy git and his wind blown black hair and red lips and hands and wrists and bulging biceps… but even if he did then it was entirely justified because Potter stunk, and stinky things just happened to keep Draco up at night. Especially if they didn’t actually smell bad.

Yes, Draco Malfoy was entirely heterosexual. He had a  _ girlfriend  _ who looked like a  _ flower _ and was  _ beautiful  _ and  _ smart  _ and had  _ boobs and a vagina _ , thank you very much, even if Draco hadn’t seen them yet and they’d been together for 4 years. They didn’t live together, and every time Astoria stayed over Draco slept on the couch because he was a gentleman like that.

•

Draco Malfoy was not gay.

He was in a  _ bad mood  _ because Astoria had just broken up with him while he was in the middle of reading a limited edition of  _ Quidditch Weekly. _

“But…  _ why _ ?!” Draco had exclaimed as he looked up from a poster of Harry Potter’s head, blown completely out of proportion and focused on those electric green eyes that Draco did  _ not _ find attractive in the least. The poster was two feet long, and Draco had unfurled it immediately after finding it and had studied it for an entirely heterosexual amount of time.

Astoria had Flooed in at 8am, looking exhausted and determined. Draco had been sitting at the table in his pants, and had jumped up and covered his crotch with his hands when she came in. She rolled her eyes, and told him she was breaking up with him.

Draco was very confused. He was also agitated, because he hadn’t even combed his hair yet, and was entirely lost as to why their relationship failed. It had been perfectly smooth sailing, and Draco had even accompanied her to a beauticians once every month and got facials and manicures with her. He was a dream boyfriend.

According to  _ Quidditch Weekly _ , Harry Potter was also the ideal romantic partner.

“Because,” Astoria massaged her temples with two of her fingers, and glanced disdainfully at the poster of Potter. “Because you’re gay, Draco.”

Draco spluttered. “I am  _ not  _ gay, Astoria! Whatever gave you the thought?”

Astoria gazed at him coolly. Her hands crept to the hem of her shirt, and she started lifting it.

Draco shrieked and covered his eyes. “Not at the breakfast table! Not at the breakfast table!”

“Not at the breakfast table,” Astoria muttered in a high pitched tone. “Not at the breakfast table, he says. Not at the breakfast table, not in the living room, not in the bedroom… my goodness, Draco, if I can’t even show you my tits then there’s no hope for us at all!”

Draco peeked from between his fingers and glowered. “First of all, I do  _ not  _ sound like that. Second of all, I’m saving myself and my eyes for marriage-“ he attempted feebly. “-, and third of all, I’m  _ not gay _ .” 

He hastily attempted to cover the poster spread before him. Astoria’s eyebrow raised, and her gaze softened. She reached out and touched Draco’s hand.

“Draco, it’s ok. You can come out. No one’s going to be nasty to you. I promise.” 

Draco swallowed. His hands were shaking, for some bizarre reason. He glanced at Potter’s massive, 2D head. “I’m.” He gulped.

Astoria smiled softly and nodded. “It’s ok, Draco.”

“I’m  _ not _ gay.” His voice didn’t sound real.

Astoria threw her hands in the air and harrumphed. “Goodbye, Draco, you blithering idiot. Have a nice life with your life-size cutout of Newt Scamander.”

And in a whirl of bright green silk, she was gone.

•

Draco Malfoy was  _ not  _ gay.

There were perfectly heterosexual explanations for everything in his life, especially for the Newt Scamander cutout he insisted on keeping right beside his bed so he could see it first thing every morning, just to remind himself there was something to live for. 

And the staying behind after work to have a shower, even if he didn’t need one, also made sense. It was to rid himself of all the germs from the law department at the ministry that built up in his thousand-galleon moisturizer, and it was definitely  _ not _ an excuse to see half naked men.

There was  _ no way  _ he was gay, nothing to prove he was, and so that automatically meant he was heterosexual (even though he had zero interest in ever seeing any women naked.) 

Right?

•

Draco Malfoy was not gay.

He may have liked fashion and parties and makeup, but that didn’t mean he was gay. He may have ogled men’s arses and wondered, briefly, what it would be like to get kissed by someone with facial hair, but that didn’t mean he was gay. He may have wondered what it would be like to have a penis stretching him open, but that didn’t make him gay. 

He was going to that Ministry Gala, held specifically for the Harpies, even though he had never gone to a Gala before, to find a possible girlfriend. Yes, that was it. It was to find a woman who had a flat chest and strong hands and dark hair and green, piercing eyes and round spectacles and a lightning scar on her forehead. A woman. Yes.

Surely there were loads of women who matched that description at Ministry events. And that was a perfectly heterosexual explanation to go. 

•

Draco Malfoy was not gay.

His robes were itchy and his mind was wandering, but he wasn’t gay.

The Ministry event was frighteningly boring. For one thing, all the women were decidedly  _ womanly _ . Draco was yet to find the girl of his dreams, the girl who he had created on his head and who had encouraged him to show up in the first place. 

For another, the Harpies weren’t even there. What a waste of time.

Draco sipped his champagne and proceeded to spit it back into his glass. Good _Lord_ it tasted like hippogriff poo. He was disappointed in the Ministry for letting some uncured alcohol to slip into one of their _highly_ _appraised_ Galas, and was disappointed that he couldn’t even get drunk to make the night more bearable. 

He was just about to call it a night when two French doors leading into the garden, which were previously closed, swung open. Two lines, each consisting of six people, jogged in and past Draco’s table.

The crowd cheered and clapped. The Harpies had arrived.

Draco was stuck to his seat as he watched them run past him. There was Nott, and the Weaslette, and Patil, and the other Patil, and Wood, and Zabini, and Abbott, and Brown, and Finch-Fletchley, and Creevey, and Lovegood, and-

Draco’s mouth ran dry as Potter jogged behind him, the last in his line, waving at everyone as he passed them all. He winked at Draco, and oh shit.

•

Draco Malfoy was  _ so fucking gay _ .

Time seemed to have frozen as he watched Potter run past him, red and gold tie flapping, black suit seemingly painted onto his God-like body. His hair rustled every time he moved, his powerful legs lifting him off the ground time and time again.

Draco was mesmerized. And so, so gay.

It felt like he had died and gone to heaven. His gut raced down to his Achilles tendon, his heart leapt into his lungs and his brain flew out his ears. He was absolutely, undoubtedly, attracted to men. Namely to Potter.

He very nearly wailed in despair and caused a scene, but decided against it. His mind flashed back to when he and Astoria had broken up, and why they had broken up, and if he squinted hard enough he could see the poster of Potter’s face that he had hung up in his bedroom… beside the Newt Scamander cut-out. 

Oh dear. Astoria knew all along. 

Draco thought about buying her some flowers and an engagement ring for putting up with a very-not-heterosexual boyfriend for so long, but then the food started coming out and he got sidetracked critiquing the roast duck. It really was rather dry.

Draco Malfoy was gay. He felt like he was seeing the world from behind rose-tinted glasses, and realised that so much made sense.

Specifically that Newt Scamander cut-out.

He stared into the distance, thinking about when his non-existent husband would return from a non-existent war.  _ Where did that thought come from?  _ Oh well. He was not as heterosexual as previously thought. He clearly had bigger issues to deal with. 

Draco barely noticed as Harry Potter approached him and grinned down at him through sparkling teeth. He blinked once, twice, before registering the fact that the Chosen One had offered him a hand.

“May I have this dance?” Potter asked, and Draco almost did a little poo right there because he was so excited.

“Haaaaa-yes,” he said, dazedly, accepting Potter’s hand. His fingers were rough and calloused, and felt like everything Draco had ever been looking for.

As Potter led him out to the middle of the floor, Draco thought that maybe Potter was the husband who had returned from the war. 

Draco Malfoy was gay, and that was okay. For now, he just had to dance, and that was enough. 


End file.
